Let me tell you something. Apollo Creed is all about places to walk along a river. The problem with most rivers is that they are “natural” and shit and are more often than not not easy to walk along side of. Either that or the shit is private property and you can’t walk on it without getting freaking shot.

So, when the thought of strutting down the Rocky Broad Riverwalk sprung to mind, Apollo was all about that shit. It’s hands down one of the ‘cleanest’ ways to experience a walk along a river… if thats your sort of thing.

Apollo hits the Rocky Broad Riverwalk in Chimney Rock Village, NC.

Apollo repeats the Rocky Broad Riverwalk Rules:

• No Alcohol. This means beer, Mike’s Hard Lemons, Smearnoff, and so forth.
• No Littering
• Remove Trash… as in if you bring some shit there, take your shit out with you.
• No camping, and no bringing your tent. No camping in a bivvy sack either, or under a canoe, etc.,
• Don’t fuck with the benches.
• Stay in the park area. So like if you see a sign that says PRIVATE PROPERTY and you go beyond that sign where you can no longer read it, that shortly thereafter will be someone yelling at you.
• This river is fucking dangerous. People die here. Notice Apollo doesn’t say “died” because people apparently aren’t reading this far down the list and continue to die here. Not that it should scare you off, but as long as you stay on the path, and don’t go flailing around the rocks when its raining you have a great chance of continuing your life.
• The best way not to get in the water, is to stay out of the water. Swimming would involve placing your body into the water, in which you would swiftly be carried off and get a die. In the new video game by EASD Sports called “Rocky Broad River Die” now available on pre order with a free $10 calling card certificate with 2.3 cents to Mexico included, which is a good deal. Wading is also discouraged, because it has made many people die already, and the ‘powers that be’ of the Riverwalk assume that if people keep wading, that they will probably keep dying. So wading is probably out.’

Other interesting things to note about the Rocky Broad Riverwalk:

• The people here have decided that Brute (by Rubbermaid) trash receptacles must be the trash receptacle of choice for this particular application. Rubbermaid must make very good trash cans for commercial usage.
• Apparently this river is hatchery supported. In no where on the rules does it imply fishing is against the law, so perhaps you are able to fish there. While Apollo has no fishing license nor any fishing gear, he has no real clue if you can fish here or not. I would say try, and just assume the fine you’ll probably end up with is going to a good cause.

Just in case you didn't catch that...

More shit...

After reading 300 signs Apollo is finally ready to get his ass to the river.

Finally at the freaking Rocky Broad River.

Shit is cool here.

This here bridge is the safe way to view the river from the riverest of riverist perspective.

The Chimney Rock Gemstone Mine actually is pretty kick ass. The store-museum part is actually chock full of kickassery .

Does anyone know if this is what is gonna be the new North Carolina State Park... or something?

After seeing all there was to see on the Riverwalk, Apollo made a last ditch effort to find some grub there in Chimney Rock. What was he thinking though... it was Sunday... after like 2pm and every restaurant in the town was shut the frig down. Balls.

Apollo wanted to go AND SPEND MONEY at Chimney Rock Park BUT what do you know it too was freaking closed. What the fuck man, why is everything here always close early. That's stupid.

Apollo had to take a leak and what better place than the Rocky Broad River.

This is one of those siren horn things that tells you in a loud way to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE.